If a mother prefers to continue working after giving birth, is she less of a mother than those who quit their job to become stay-at-home-mothers?  The answer would depend upon the situation like in my case, we need a double income household for us to live a comfortable life. But just because I’m a working mom is not an excuse not to be a hands on mom. I prepare my children’s breakfast, I bathe them, I dress them up for school, I help them with their homework, I help them with their school project, I bring them to Sunday worship when my husband could not make it. I don’t sleep at night until they fall asleep. I wake up when one of them needs a trip to the restroom; disrupting my precious sleep.

If a mother is forced by nature to bottlefeed, is she less of a mother than those who breastfeed? The answer would depend upon the situation like in my case, I’ve tried malunggay soup, malunggay capsules, breast massage. I gave up pizza because the quality of my milk would taste like onion. I bought a manual pump to stimulate my milk production but to no avail. My baby was crying. I was desperate to feed him. I tried mixed feeding but my breasts were not producing enough milk. I held the baby close to me during bottlefeeding. I wanted him to feel loved.

Motherhood is a unique experience. What is a common experience among mothers is just the tip of the iceberg because the deeper the experience goes, the more we discover the uniqueness of it. When a mother brags about how good she is because of her choices, I feel that there are closures that she needs to address like an approval for the decision that she made. A really good mother knows and understands how other mothers feel. A really good mother does not need to put other mothers down so that she could stand taller than them.

Don’t Rush

from the web--young love, sweet love--weh?

from the web–young love, sweet love–weh?

He maybe charming, he maybe dashing
Don’t fall too hard for him
You’re only a teen
You don’t know a thing

His sincerity maybe unquestionable
His love for you maybe immeasurable
But he’s only a teen just like you
Love takes time to develop and it doesn’t happen out of the blue

The time you spent together maybe so real
Your love affair could be surreal
But listen, it’s just your hormones ticking
Don’t be deceived; you’ve got to be thinking!

Life is not all about chocolates and roses
Adults do take care of bills and expenses
Don’t rush yourself in things that you’ll regret later
Focus on school, wouldn’t it be much better?

Don’t be like me, my sweet little girl
Treat yourself like a diamond or a most precious pearl
Don’t rush yourself on love, believe me, it’s just puppy love
Compose yourself and ask from guidance Above

My Mother’s Daughter

I am sitting in front of my laptop with a cup of coffee; ¼ tablespoon of coffee, 2 tablespoons of creamer and 1 tablespoon of sugar. When did I develop a taste for coffee? Probably it was during my college days when I had to finish all my assignments and prepare for the next day’s lessons. Prior to my college years, I HATED coffee! It was my mother who was addicted to it. I didn’t realize that several years later, I would become the person that I never thought I would be. I realize that I am becoming like my mother in so many ways or maybe in so many ways that annoyed me when I was younger.

When my mother was still a full-time housewife, she was a neat freak. She took much attention of the restroom and kitchen. Did we, as kids, leave the toilet messy? Did I, at ten years of age, wash the dishes properly? Her being a meticulous made me and my younger brother take care of our things properly. I hate greasy pans and plates. I hate it when the glasses and utensils smell fishy. I hate it when the kitchen is left untidy. I hate it when the toilet is left messy. I realize, I was never this meticulous before and it would take a week of orientation before my helper gets my particular style in good housekeeping.

I thought I was not jologs like my mama when it comes to food but lately, I’ve been craving for cheap puddings, kupeng, otap and mamon. These breads cost less than ten pesos but enough to fill in a hungry stomach. Mama thought that my Goldilocks or Red Ribbon pasalubong were too expensive but would eat them, anyway.

Now the budgeting issue; whenever I remind my husband, my kid, my sister-in-law and my helper to turn off the lights when not in use, I hear my mother’s voice in my own voice. She would always ask me and my brothers to turn off the tap properly, turn off the lights between 10 AM to 5PM (unless necessary) and turn off the TV or sound system when not in use. I understand where she was coming from. She, being the breadwinner, knew the value of money more than anyone else in our household.

There are still a lot of comparisons that I have yet to discover and a lot of things that I hope I would be, someday. I would like to be a great cook like my late mother. Her kare-kare was the best. I would like to be motherly like her. I would like to be empathic like her. I would like to be patient like her. I would like to be a good wife like her. I would like to be a good daughter to my remaining parent like her. I would like to be a good sister like her. I would like to be be a good friend like her. I am my mother’s daughter; sooner or later, I would do funny, silly, relevant, meticulous and good things like her.

Desperate Housewife

You may find this kinda late but since my maternity leave
started last September 8, I’m hooked in watching Desperate Housewives.
Oh yeah, the transition from being a Sex and the City fanatic to being
a Desperate Housewives fanatic. Does it have something to do with my
change of civil status? Perhaps! But since I’m watching it on DVD and I
started on the 3rd Season episodes, I’m not sure if the housewives had
budgeting problems like me.

I used to argue with my late mother on budgeting. It was not budgeting per se
but it was the way she used to mention how tough a job budgeting is.And since I was
living alone with lots of comfort on my apartment which is a two-hour drive from
my parents’ home, I didn’t know that budgeting for a large family is really a tough job!

When I got married and my husband moved in with me, he nearly freaked me out for
touching on stuff that were supposed to be out in my perceived time.Then came his
sister a month after we got married. Budgeting was becoming more challenging!
When my daughter from my first love joined us after my mother passed away, I don’t know
if my pregnancy had something to do with my mood swings whenever I see the cupboard
empty ahead of my scheduled grocery day. It was not only the groceries that I was concerned
about. It was the electricity bill and water bill that shoot up! When the baby and the helper
came, grocery cost increased by 40%, electricity by 120% and water by 100%. Oh, don’t count the
baby; I didn’t include him in the computation.

My husband noticed how irritated I was yesterday. He knew it was the budgeting issue.
“Why can’t some people be just as disciplined as me? And for everyone’s info, when
I used to live with my relatives, I never touched their stuffs!”

Yes, it’s not just the money issues that I’m irritated about; it is also the consumption issue.
When I was living alone, everything was scheduled and budgeted. Electricity and water cost
were lower because I knew how to conserve. It is easier to impart that to my sister-in-law
and daughter because they are family. I have a big job to educate my helper on CONSERVATION.

Back to Desperate Housewives, in running a family with extension (sister-in-law) and a helper,
maybe I could associate myself with Lynette Scavo. I admire the way she handles her family.
She’s tough yet cool about her children especially when the twins are already on their
teens. She knows her insecurities and is not afraid to tell others about it. (The episode
when she told the successful Bree Hodge that she’s jealous of her career)

Susan Mayers and Gabrielle Solis are my most favorite character. Susan resembles me
in the way that we’re both hopeless romantics. (But I’m not a drama queen like her!)
She’s the most natural character aside from Lynette’s. Susan’s imperfections like
her carelessness make her more adorable. Ordinary housewives would say that yeah,
life is fair; because a beauty like Susan could be so vulnerable and careless, too!
I love Gabrielle Solis because she reminds me of my youth; the time when I thought
it was easy to change boyfriends because a better one would surely come my way.(It didn’t
happen, though. I only had three boyfriends before I got married, the last one became my
husband) Gabrielle’s character is just as fiery as mine. I love her sense of humor and style, too.
I love Season 5 because it showed the down to earth side of Gabriel Solis when she and Carlos
nearly hit bankcrupcy.

Bree Hodge, though the most charming character is the most superficial, too. Her being so
reserved and acting with much finesse is just too unnatural for me. Oh, maybe it’s the reason
why her children turn out to be that way?

Edie Britt reminds me of Samantha in “Sex and the City.” Both are blonde, pretty and
free-spirited. Between the two, I prefer Edie’s character and her reputation as the
neighborhood “slut.” I don’t remember Samantha being condemned by her friends; in fact
she is well-loved by her friends! What I like in Edie’s character is this: it’s natural
for women to feel threatened to the presence of a hot woman in the neighborhood. Edie’s character
wants to tell us that not all pretty and sought-after women are happy. (Season 3 shows a vulnerable
Edie pleading for love and commitment to Carlos)

A Baby Is A Blessing

Whether you’re 18 or 38 when you had your baby, consider it as a blessing. Not all 18 or 38 year olds are capable of having a baby.

Whether you’re struggling in life or very stable in life when you had your baby, consider it as a blessing. A baby becomes an inspiration of a struggling mother and a baby completes the comfortable life of a wealthy mother.

Whether your husband or boyfriend welcomes your baby or not, consider your baby as a blessing. An irresponsible father and unloving husband should never be a barrier to continue with your pregnancy. An excited father and loving husband should lessen your fears of pregnancy and childbirth.

A baby is a blessing, not a burden. We don’t treat something/someone we love as a burden if we don’t love them. How can the smiles of a baby be a burden if it brings joy to a mother’s heart? A baby is a blessing, not a burden.