Break-up poem that I wrote many years ago.
Disclaimer: This poem is not about my married life but somehow, I can relate to this poem as I experienced being ghosted in my younger years.
The most thrilling stage of courtship is when somebody tries to save a woman from a problematic relationship. Like, I became the center of his universe, his oxygen and life support all at the same time while lovebombing me. The attention that he gave me was just over the top. Before I knew it, I was already drowning in his sea of love madness. The comparison between the prospect and the present relationship soon became lightyears in difference. This comparison resulted to seeing a possible future with the prospect and leaving the old wounded past behind. Months after accepting the new relationship, I saw familiar patterns in the tug of love game. His excitement started to decrease. I was just one of his conquers and I fell for the trap. Confused, I asked him what was wrong and if there was anything that we could do to bring back the warmth in our relationship. Of course, it was like bargaining my happiness every now and then instead of just walking away with pride. When the ghosting happened, I managed to ask him later on why he did what he did when we started so in love. He could not answer and left me wondering if it was my fault or not. (Cut me some slack, I was young at that time)
Now that I am older and wiser, I realize that we should let people go if they want to go and never ask them to stay. So yes, this poem is probably an old version of me.
It has been 730 days without you.
But I still feel as if you were around us.
There are days when I’m waiting for your messages or calls.
I think about you asking me about how my day goes.
We had a lot of misunderstandings when I was younger.
But things got better as we both grew older.
In fact, I dreamed of taking care of you in your old age.
A duplicate of the dream that I had for my mother.
The onset of the pandemic was emotionally draining.
As usual, I preferred to keep my thoughts and everything.
Had I known that that week would be our last conversation.
I would have stayed all night with you until the point of exhaustion.
Your life was something that a few would understand.
The idiosyncrasies, the beliefs, the failures, and success.
Perhaps that was the reason why you had foes and friends.
And you found an ally in me as you knew I’d be on your side.
Oh, how I wish you were here, Papa, to know that I’m better now.
‘Cause the last time that we talked, it was about uncertainties and fear.
Your messages are still here, I read them when I’m missing you.
You are gone but not forgotten I know that you know that, too.
It’s been a year and a half
Of a topsy turvy life.
Wishing for a miracle
And blessings that others would sprinkle
Some take it as a gamble
Praying that they would not stumble
Hoping for a smooth journey
To provide well for their family
Some gained weight and others lose
Some are in misery while others rejoice
A few wonder about what life really is
Children are clueless about the world that they miss
Most of us dream of an end to all of these
And return to the days of fun and bliss
While we are not there yet
Let’s hold on to our faith
Be good to everyone
Play fair in the best way you can
Life is uncertain
No one knows our final curtain
Always be a good person
With love and smile memories to leave on
Isa’t kalahating taon
Umaasa sa himala
Ang iba’y sa pagpapala
May mga sumusugal
Tanging baon ay dasal
Upang pamilya’y matustusan
May nanaba, may namayat
May namighati, may nagalak
May nagkabati, may naghiwalay
May napapaisip sa buhay kung ano ang saysay
Mga sanggol kailan lang
Natigil ang mundo sa tahanan
Kinalakhan ang bagong normal
May nangangarap ng katapusan
Ng pandemya’t karamdaman
Sa mga panahong sa pasyal ay hitik
Habang tayo’y wala pa doon
Kumapit lang sa Panginoon
Maging mabuti sa kapwa
Wag magsamantala’t mangawawa
Dahil buhay nati’y walang katiyakan
Sabi nga’y una-una lang
Maging mabuting tao lagi
Mag-iwan ng pagmamahal at ngiti