My Memories of BCYFI

Those were the years when I felt I couldn’t make it to college because my parents were struggling financially. My high school classmate, Rowena, showed me an application form. I was too naïve to even know what a scholarship grant meant. I thought those things were just for highly intelligent people; I never assumed to be one.

On that same day, after class, I went to the Bataan Library with Rowena to complete the requirements. We were given an exam schedule. At home, my mother was delighted to know that her daughter was trying her best to get a college education.

I couldn’t remember if the exam was before or after our high school graduation. I remember that it was a Sunday and my parents patiently waited for me at the park, just outside the library. It was a difficult exam; one that I did not expect to pass. After the exam, there was a brief interview held by Ms. Dang.

She asked me if I had a chance to pursue my college even if I failed the exam. I honestly answered “maybe not.” It was not because I wanted her to pity me or to accept me as their scholar; but because I believed that I had no chance to other scholarship grants. Fast-forward, I passed the exam and interview but Bataan Christian Youth Foundation Inc (BCYFI) had to put me under waiting list. This meant that I would have to wait until my second year of college to be able to have the scholarship grant or I had the option to delay my college for a year if out-of-our-pocket expense was not possible. We chose the former case, I went to Baguio in May of that year and I waited for a year for my scholarship.

Summer of the following year, I was visible during the BCYFI events. I wanted to make up for the lost times as I seldom went home when I was in college. I wanted so much to be part of our group; our group of hopeful and ambitious individuals. The best summer that I had was when I met the children of our Japanese sponsors. I wish that email and Facebook were already available at that time to nourish our budding friendship. Takayuki, Yoshie 1 and Yoshie 2 were the most memorable ones.

Ms. Annie (I am not sure of her position in BCYFI) told us that our RKK (Risho Kosei Kai) sponsors donate one meal budget in a day and the money that they were able to save were sent to the Philippines for our studies.

I had a happy two-years stay in the BCYFI group. My happy days were cut short by a personal issue and I felt really bad about it. I never went back to BCYFI not out of ingratitude but rather, out of shame.

I have always wanted to reconnect, to thank Ms. Dang, Ms. Annie and Sir Nestor for all the love, support and understanding but I never had the courage to simply go back to say those words.

Decades later, the 400+ scholars that BCYFI and RKK nurtured are united through a Facebook group chat to discuss our plans for the relocation of our beloved library/BCYFI building. Rina, a classmate and one of the most active scholars during our time, is hurting about the turn of events. To cheer her up, I told her that the relocation of the library/BCYFI building could be a blessing (or a blessing in disguise!) because if the scholars would be united to be part of the relocation and construction, then the new site would have been our legacy.

 

BFF Goals

Steph and Annie used to be my officemates in my first job. The pair was inseparable then and you could feel genuine friendship between the two. Steph migrated to the US sometime in 2005, leaving Annie devastated. Annie was happy for her bestfriend but the reality of living without her was just hard to accept at first. A month after Steph’s migration, Annie sent us an inspirational chain message about the good in good-bye. I felt sorry for her because just five years earlier, I was in the same position when my best buddy left the country to settle in Canada. I did not expect that Annie and Steph’s friendship would survive the test of time and distance.

I was wrong! Very wrong! A few days ago, I saw them TOGETHER in the US through Annie’s Facebook post. I was ecstatic to see them together and I realized that there are really some friendships that are meant to stay, no matter what.

Some friends will be there for you as long as they get something from you.

Some friends will dine with you as long as you have the money and fame.

Some friends will forget about you as soon as they leave.

Some friends will claim that they love you though you can hardly feel it.

I am glad because my faith in true friendship is back. To be a good friend to others, you must accept the other person’s flaws and weaknesses. To be a good friend to others, you must be there during his highs and lows. To be a good friend to others, you must open your heart and soul. Steph and Annie made it and will continuously make it. There’s just so much love to share between them.  🙂

Why I Left My Facebook Mommy Groups

Today, I decide to leave my four Facebook mommy groups for the following reasons:

  1. I wanted to have real-life friendship and I was not getting any of it from my mommy groups.
  2. I couldn’t stand the bullying of some members to those whom they perceived as not following their advice.
  3. The group has become a haven for humble-bragging.
  4. It affected me how some women were treated badly by their in-laws and even husband or partner but they were not empowered enough to stand on their own.
  5. It affected me to read daily rants from women who should have been empowered in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong–I enjoyed the virtual company of my mommy groups but I needed to focus on more productive things in my life like my thesis for the next semester. I have always been empathetic when it comes to people who are in trouble but I need to set my priorities, too in such a way that my professional growth will not be compromised.

 

 

The Unfriend Button

There are three reasons why I clicked the unfriend button last night:

  1. Unfamiliar names/usernames- Okay, I was lenient in accepting some friend request. In fact, there’s a 60% chance that if somebody sends me a friend request, I will accept that even if we’re not acquainted in real life. I give the person the benefit of the doubt and the chance to be friends. I have this assumption that if somebody frequently changes his username, then he must be trying to conceal his identity for malicious reasons.
  2. If my FB friend and I have not been in touch either online or offline for a minimum of six months. I would assume that his account is already inactive so I will give my page the favor of cleaning up some “unwanted” spaces. If we are no longer in touch offline for six months or more, I would assume that he has other interests in life and for me, that’s no big deal; I would let him go.
  3. If my friend has a second account that I accepted but failed to inform me about it, then I would unfriend because that could be a bogus account or an impostor. Trust me, there are a lot of bogus accounts on the net.

 

Princess

She was my BFF from 2007 to 2009. She was like my younger sister. She was sweet but

could be bothersome at times. We became close after our boyfriends dumped us. Misery

loves company–well, that’s true on our case.

We would dine out every night except during weekends.

We would go to the mall; me for a much-needed facial while she, window-shopping.

We would talk about boys, both admirers and those that we did not like.

She would push me to be in a relationship with a guy that she felt was right for me then

I would scold her for being too comfortable with a common friend who was committed to

another girl.

We would cry over our heartaches; well, she had a harder time moving on so she

shed more tears than I. But just the same, feeling her pain was enough to reduce me

to tears.

We had a company outing at the beach and both of us rocked in our own way.

I miss you, Princess and all the crazy things that we did.