How I Moved On From A Bad Break Up

There is this vlogger who is still hurting over her break-up with her actor-ex-boyfriend. To add insult to injury, the ex has fully moved on and even fathered a baby to his girlfriend. The girlfriend was not
somebody new because they had a relationship almost a decade ago. They parted ways because she could not cope up with a long-distance relationship. In 2019, the two met again in a TV series and they probably realized that the love was never lost in the first place. The actor broke up with the vlogger in December 2019 and the latter is still hurting until now.

Eight long years of the vlogger and the actor’s relationship were washed down the drain and I know how hurt she is. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, my heart goes out to her. But take note that I do not hate the celebrity couple and I will explain later why.

They say that you don’t need to ask your boyfriend if he loves you enough because he wouldn’t pursue you in the first place if there was no love. The better question to ask is how long will he love you? Will he still love you when he realized that you are not the dream girl he thought you would be? Will he still love you when things become rough in the relationship? Will he still love you when he finds a better girl than you? Will he still love you when he sees your flaws? Will he still love you when he becomes successful in life? These are some of the questions that you don’t need to ask your boyfriend but it’s good to keep an open eye if the red flags appear later.

Except with my husband, my previous relationships were all long-term. (We got married after less than a year of dating) The first relationship happened when I was a teenager while the second one was when I was a young adult. Truth to be told, the second relationship gave me more heartaches but I’d rather not talk much about it as I have moved on already. What I want to discuss was the healing process that I went through and how I forgave the ex for breaking my heart.

Seven years into the relationship, I was more mature and ready to settle down so the break up came to me as a big shock! The ex moved on quickly, secretly found my replacement, and then lived his life to the fullest. Of course, knowing all of these tore my self-esteem into minute pieces. I was ready to go to his place to beg for him to come back but I always came to my senses that it would have been a futile move. I never spoke ill against the new girl because logically, she had nothing to do with the break-up. Whether she was the third party or not would not change my ex’s mind about choosing her or leaving me. For a time, I could not let go of my friendship with the ex’s family as I had a good time with them when the relationship was good. Later, the friendship with them died a natural death when I got into a new relationship. Speaking of friendship, it is never my attitude to include my friends in troubles about my love life. I feel that as long as my life or sanity is not in danger, then there’s no need to tell anybody about what’s going on in my relationship. On the other hand, this silence backfired on me when people thought that my relationship was super okay so they were surprised about the break-up. But yeah, I still believe that you don’t need to overshare. When you speak about the break-up, the more people get curious about the next things you’ll do or say. Writing is therapeutic and it never fails to heal my broken heart, be it because of a failed relationship or something else. I don’t follow any of my exes on social media even when I have fully moved on. Some people do follow their exes and it works for them though. I am particular about how my family would feel so for me, it is for everyone’s best interest not to connect with them.

Looking back, I think that doing all the things that I mentioned above helped me in moving on silently. I would be honest to say that there were a few rebounds and flings to boost my self-esteem but they were all harmless relationships. I never got to be physical with any of them as what I needed were just text mates.

If I happen to see any of my exes by chance, I think my initial reaction would have been to laugh at what happened and remind myself about how I dealt with the break-up. There is always a reason why we did not end up with the person that we wanted so much but believe me, time flows forward and it heals a broken heart.

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