I normally would react to any perceived injustices or biases especially when it involves my children. Then my level of reaction would depend upon the severity of the emotional damage to my children and as well as my children’s relationship with the offender. Among my children, I am most protective of my eldest simply because her circumstance is much different from her younger siblings. In her eyes, she probably sees me as a paranoid mother but in my eyes, I am just doing my job as a protective mother.
Without divulging all the details, I am hurt for her when I read about how her own blood from the other side of her family seemed to betray her. Good thing that I am past my impulsive years; else, I would have questioned the person involved “Why?”
I thought of brainwashing her to distance herself from the people that would not admit her existence in all her years on earth but that would be manipulating her and that would not let her grow on her own. I wanted to protect her feelings by just telling her to cut off her ties but I realized that maybe, it would have been better if she feels how they feel about her; instead of me giving her the answers.
On the other hand, I felt responsible for her hurt feelings because I asked her years ago to connect to them, to love them and respect them even if the love may not be mutual.
Lesson learned: you cannot force a connection. You cannot force love when it is not there in the first place. You just have to ignore whatever it is that hurts you and move on. There are a million people in this planet who can love you and will treat you as family. In the end, it is not our loss. We gave them a second chance at life and love and they just took it for granted. Some good-byes may not be forever but for the meantime, it’s good-bye.