Summer Love(s)

Blame it on the intense summer heat; I’m forced to reminisce my happy summer days during the late 80’s ,early 90’s and early 2000.

My first summer love happened when I was 11. He was a neighbor that went away then came back for good. The first time we saw each other again was just accidental. Our eyes met and then there was magic. I was so confused; I was always mad at him. I felt weird being attracted to a person who I grew up with (despite his absence). It was a love-hate relationship, if you can call ours a relationship. We were frequently admiring and putting each other down. It was one of those weird feelings as a pre-teen; that feeling of helplessness and hope because I surrendered my heart to a person who’s not even my boyfriend. Years later, we did not end up with each other but continue to be friends—just friends.

The second one was my bestfriend’s ex. Actually, he came a month after the first summer love. It was one of my cousin’s prank that led us (me and the 2nd summer love) to being phone pals. Yeah, those were the age of landline phones and beepers. LOL. That cousin was playing with our phone and then volunteered to call up anybody that I wanted to talk with. I mentioned that I have a crush and I knew his number. She called up that number and asked for him. That was how we started. He was brave and aggressive. He even went to our house and casually talked with my unsuspecting father. I was forced to tell my father the truth about his presence and he was very mad at us. The courtship, if that was considered courtship, ended briefly and bitterly. We could have been housemates in college but fate did not allow us to meet again.

The third one was the one who gave me cold sweats and sleepless nights. I was always wondering if he liked me, too. I was easily intimidated by his piercing stares. A glimpse of him was enough to make my day. He dated one of our neighbors and my first reaction was to move on.

The fourth one was my first boyfriend. It was a romantic night with full moon when we became a couple. All the summers that I spent with him at his father’s hometown were the best because we were so in love with each other. I miss the scent of tobacco leaves at his grandparents’ house. I miss eating with his relatives.

The fifth one was my second boyfriend; the one who gave me the most heartaches. What I want to remember is how we would go to the beach with office mates. I want to remember the days when we were just starting; penniless and carefree. He was the love of my life then. He could hurt me on and on and I would always forgive him. If he did not initiate the break up, maybe I’m still in that pathetic state. I am much better now with my husband. I tried to be friends with him but I guess, exes should stay where they belong. They belong to the past and I wish to lock him in my memory and forget the key. That was what I did last February when I returned his old photos through email and then threw the physical ones.