Scent, Song, Season

I remember a person based on three things: scent, song and season.


My late mother loved perfumes. She wore a perfume based on her mood or occassion. When she passed away in 2009, I became the caretaker of her perfumes. I said “caretaker” because I never really use them; I just safekeep them. Because her memory is stored in a bottle, I am very protective and reactive whenever anyone tries to use them. Yes, I can just buy another bottle but I won’t feel any special connection with it anymore because it’s no longer my mother’s bottle. It is my bottle, my own memory. Whenever I want to feel her presence, I just dab a little scent on my skin.


Most of the special people in my life, I associate them with songs. The connection between the song’s lyrics and to my personal experiences with the people who come and go to my life are just complementary.


Christmas of 2009 was the hardest:

-it was the first Christmas without my mother

-it was my first Christmas away from home

-it was my first time NOT to celebrate Christmas because of a changed religious belief

Some holidays were a torture to me until I finally let go of the painful events and just deal with the loss–be it a death, a separation or a break-up of a relationship or friendship.

Some memories are there to stay with me and one, two or sometimes all of the three factors that I mentioned above serve as the catalyst. I am letting go of the bad memories and I’ve started creating happy memories since 2012.

As one author said, we cannot appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory.