First Heartbreak

It’s not time to make a change.
Just relax, take it easy.
So the lyrics of a song say.
I was 17 years old when I found myself singing that song.
Subconciously, I knew that the major change in my life then was getting into a
romantic relationship.
I was 17. Young and wild and free, as another song says.
When I met my first boyfriend, I knew he was The One.
My instinct just told me that he must have been The One.
If being an accurate psychic takes a lot of practice, then I failed in predicting
that my first boyfriend was The One.

My experiences in love and life pushed me to become a protective parent.
My children’s welfare comes first to me than anybody or anything else.
I am not your typical modern Filipina mother who lets her kids do things on their own.
I keep a suspecting eye to my children’s moves and moods.
Having a toddler and a baby is a challenge, I know.
But I underestimated the fact that having a teenage child is the most challenging.

When my teenager blushed at the message alert tone of her Nokia phone in February this year,
I thought that having an avid admirer was cute and harmless. She mentioned to me about her
admirer’s traits but denied that she had fallen into his persistence.
My daughter could never lie to me, I thought.
I was a twelve year old girl when I had my first brave suitor.
My father confronted the guy and he hated me for years for not fighting for us.
I hated my father’s concern then but I was so afraid of him so I never got the chance to
even say good-bye to my first brave suitor.
Years later, I considered my father’s concern as a blessing-in-disguise; the first brave suitor
didn’t turn out to be the man that’s meant for me.
So there, while my daughter was delightful for every message alert tones that she hear,
I was cool about it because I thought that she was not interested in pursuing a serious relationship with him, anyway.

When my daughter confided in June that she and her admirer were already an item since March, I was put
into a do or die situation. It was a situation as delicate as a double-edge sword. What would happen if I resent?
Would she still confide her daily activities with me? What would happen if I allow? Would they go beyond my limits?
Being such a diplomatic person, I allowed their relationship if and only if it’s a healthy relationship.
As long as both of them maintain their good grades and class standing, then it’s fine with me.
Then the issue of the boyfriend being a non-believer of our religious faith came in. I realized that no matter what,
the beliefs of our faith should emerge on the top 3 reasons on why their relationship should put to an end.
I reminded my daughter about our doctrines and she responded that the boyfriend was more than willing to
embrace our religion. I knew I had to deal with her in the most tactful way.

I was a hopeless romantic but not to the extent of obsession. If calling up each other early in the morning and late at night
and seeing each other after class is called obsession, then my daughter and her boyfriend were guilty of that.
There was a time in July when I panicked because my daughter was not yet home at past 6PM! She knew my
curfew rules and hello, 6PM is already late when you’re living in the countryside.
I’ve seen a lot of red flags in their relationship and tried my best to point them out to her in every chance that I could
but the girl was obviously enjoying in her lovelife so she didn’t listen.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when her boyfriend wouldn’t allow her to take her exam just to be with him.
Her adviser texted me to invite me for a meeting with the school principal. It turned out that that meeting was actually
a conference attended by no less than the boyfriend’s mother and his teachers. It was no small issue, I thought.

Cutting of classes cum stalking is not acceptable to me. This is not a normal behavior and theirs is not a normal relationship.
I decided that it was time to cut their relationship. I’ve let them enjoy their time and now, it’s time for them to
behave and act like any 15 year old children. My gosh, when I was 15, I had sleepless nights because money was the problem then.
I kept asking myself if my parents could afford to send me to college. Here is my 15 yr old and crying helplessly over her
first heartbreak!

It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry. But as a parent, it is my obligation to guide her and protect her.
I received more than a hundred missed calls and more than fifty text messages from her ex-boyfriend asking me for
a second chance to prove himself. I didn’t reply to any because he could get so insisting, I’m tired of explaining my decision.

My father, sister-in-law and brother were all supportive of her. I didn’t get a good night sleep last night because of my daughter’s pain.
In my mind and heart, cutting their relationship was the best option now that things were getting out of hand.
It breaks my heart to see her cry. It breaks my heart to see her ex-boyfriend cry.
There will be a better tomorrow soon, I hope.